what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
They are going to name an STD after you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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