Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dignity is for republicans.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
