I think my fart just growled at me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
