THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
