Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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