im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
