i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
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Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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