Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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