Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize