But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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