More tranny stories later!
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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