since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
