fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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