I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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