T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
