She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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