Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My dick has a subreddit
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
