Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
