Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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