Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
