You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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