I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
