idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
