two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
