You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
