GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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