Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There r osticjed everywhere
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
