I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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