I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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