he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
