Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
