So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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