If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
