First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
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I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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