Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
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We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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