i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize