Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
