I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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