woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
