I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
