Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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