Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
