Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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