becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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