i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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