i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
