I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
