I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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