Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
