woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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