oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
