Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
