just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize