I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
