I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
