when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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