Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
