Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
