Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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