My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
