ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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