Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Who died my cat blue again?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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